More Than a Body

 Synopsis

Our beauty-obsessed world perpetuates the idea that happiness, health, and ability to be loved are dependent on how we look, but Lindsay and Lexie Kite offer an alternative vision. With insights drawn from their extensive body image research, Lindsay and Lexie- PhDs, identical twins, and founders of the nonprofit Beauty Redefined-- lay out an action plan that arms you with the skills you need to free yourself from the constraints of self-objectification and reconnect with your whole self.

Inside this book, Lindsay and Lexie show how feelings of body shame or embarrassment can work as a catalyst for personal growth and collective progress through a framework they call body image resilience. With media literacy, reimagined fitness goals, self-reflection, and self-compassion, they equip you with practical tools and advice-- all while. cutting through the empty promises sold by media, advertisers, and the beauty and weight-loss industries. Powerful, real-world comments and experiences will be relatable to anyone who has felt less than, objectified, or judged, and will be crucial for anyone seeking to understand and help others who are struggling.

Loved

Okay, first I just have to say: this is probably the book that has changed my life more than any other (besides religious books). Truly, my entire perspective has changed and I owe Lindsay and Lexie so much! This story did three main things for me: it changed how I view my body, other people's bodies, and what society expects of our bodies.

• The change in perspective about my own body. Wow. Just WOW. Lindsay and Lexie explain at the beginning of the book that most of us are fractured because we are viewing our bodies instead of living inside them. We are constantly wondering how we look and what other people see, instead of using that mental space and attention to be present in what we're experiencing in the moment. How sad is that? But so true! Throughout the book we learn how to shift our focus from how our bodies look to how our bodies help us live happy, fulfilling, and successful lives. 

• Lindsay and Lexie walk us through all sorts of "disruptions" to our body image (i.e. family photos, wearing a swimsuit, comments from relatives, etc.) and how to practice mindfulness and do thought work to manage the hurt and anxiety these disruptions cause. This advice has helped me so much, and I honestly go through their steps pretty much everyday when I experience my own disruptions and start to get down on myself about my body. 

• Perhaps the most empowering element of this book is instilling in us the idea that our bodies ARE good, regardless if we feel they LOOK good (and good is relative anyway!) Lindsay and Lexie really help us understand how to appreciate and love our bodies for what they do for us instead of focusing all our time, money, energy and thought on how to make them look better according to some arbitrary standard.

• The change in perspective about other people's bodies. One of my favorite quotes of the book: "The beauty contest built into our shared imagination has no trophy at the end," as well as "If everyone is a competitor, no one is on your team." WOWOWOW. Those two quotes just about shattered my universe- in a good way :) We all (at least most women, I'm sure men do too to some degree) look at each other as competitors and CONSTANTLY compare ourselves to everyone else's bodies. We do it so often that it's just a part of us and our brains are subconsciously noticing everything about each other's bodies and sizing them up to ours-- how exhausting! And WHY??? As they said, there's no trophy at the end of our imagined beauty contest. Those words truly changed my life. Now when I find myself looking at other women's thigh gaps, perfect skin, thin waists, etc. etc. I remind myself that the beauty contest is in my head and all it brings is anxiety, depression, and heartache. Lindsay and Lexie also help us understand how to help other people love their bodies by how we think about and talk about other people's bodies- which is so healthy and helpful, and I wish we could all do this!! Seriously, if everyone took their advice, the world would be a more loving and confident place- which would be nice ;)

• The change in perspective about society's expectations of our bodies. Okay, this was also mind-blowing. Society has basically objectified women forever. I'm no feminist, but I did feel indignant as I read Lindsay and Lexie's research, and realized that at least in American culture, everyone is taught to look at, evaluate, and judge women's bodies. They also show us the disparity between expectations for men's bodies and those of women's bodies. There are definitely expectations for men, but for women the expectations are completely unattainable and unhealthy. It's pretty sickening to realize how much time, energy, anxiety, worry, effort, and heart women put into making themselves beautiful- or at least what society says is beautiful. What if those same resources were put into our relationships, families, hobbies, careers, and self-care? This was very eye-opening for me to analyze why I try to make myself beautiful or skinny or tan or fit- am I doing this because it's healthy and adds value to my life? Or am I trying to live up to some unattainable standard that no one lives up to because it's all computer generated and photoshopped? This is life changing stuff people!

• The research. Another element I really appreciated about what Lindsay and Lexie are saying is that it's all backed by research- much of which they have done themselves. This isn't just a women's feel-good story trying to boost your confidence. This is backed by numbers, long-term studies, and real-life anecdotal experiences. Not only do they focus on wanting to boost our confidence with liberating us from arbitrary expectations, they want us to become our healthiest and happiest selves through the bodies we already have and that have been serving us already.

• The readability. While this is very well-researched and backed with statistics and references, it's also very readable. Lindsay and Lexie are entertaining and relatable in the way they describe these issues, in telling us about their own personal experiences with body image, and in helping us work through our thoughts around these issues. I flew through the pages and was very interested- which I can't say for all nonfiction! :)

Didn't Love

• I wouldn't change anything about this, it's amazing!

Content

• Language: 
• None.

• Sexual content: 
• Lots of talk about what women do to feel sexy- what they change and alter about their bodies.
• Mentions of intimacy, nothing detailed.

• Violence
• Mentions of assault and rape, but no specific instances.


• Other themes:
• Some mentions of eating disorders.

Overall Thoughts

WOW. I keep saying that, but seriously this book changed my life. Lindsay and Lexie are my new heroes because they are courageously presenting these different ideas from what society is constantly throwing at us: that our bodies can be good without looking good. At least good by society's standards. We don't have to be beautiful or skinny or athletic or small to be empowered, happy, successful, and loved. Whoa, can we say that louder for those in the back? YOUR BODY IS GOOD. No matter how it looks. How it looks simply does not matter. Sorry for shouting at you- I just feel so strongly this is a message that everyone needs and that no one has really internalized. I have been trying to get everyone in my life to read this book because I can't think of a single person who wouldn't benefit significantly from it. My copy of the book is highlighted, starred, and already well-loved, and it's one I plan on reading every 3-5 years to remind myself what I learned and keep it fresh. I promise you if you read this you will at the very least learn a few interesting facts, but most likely you will find yourself empowered- liberated and freed from society's constricting and stifling expectations of your body, and excited to finally be the genuine you :)